Sweet Redemption
by QTR
Summary: That night had changed her ways of thinking forever. He wasn't a father anymore, he was a monster. A monster she refused to love.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Sweet Redemption

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI! As much as I wish I did, I do not, so please don't sue! I do not own any of the characters represented in this story, for I am only a lowly viewer of the show who happens to write fanfiction.

Notes: This first chapter is hot off the press! Enjoy!

She came in quietly. Everyone else was talking away and sipping their coffee waiting for Grissom to come in and give them their assignments- not her. She just walked in and sat down. She was dressed a little nicer than usual- black dress pants and a nice brown blouse with black high-heeled shoes. Everyone stared at her as she entered and she ignored the stares.

"Sara?" Nick asked the silent brunette as she sat down. She didn't look up at him; she had now pulled out a book from her bag and had unfolded the page where she had left off.

"Sara?" he asked again, his tone growing louder. She finally looked up.

"Nick?" she replied, changing her glances from her book to the male Texan sitting on another couch across from her.

"You look nice today," he said smiling.

"Thanks."

"Why'd you dress up? You going to court today?"

"You could say that."

Everyone fell silent. Grissom never mentioned Sara going to court that day, and as fast as news traveled around the lab grapevine, they were all surprised they hadn't heard about it.

"When?" Warrick asked, breaking the silence.

"Few hours," she replied turning back to her book.

"Which case?" Catherine asked curiously.

"A case I closed a while back," she replied. "I re-opened it and found some new evidence to convict a rapist." It was a damn good lie- it fooled everyone in the room; they didn't doubt her word for a second.

Just as Nick was about to say something, their supervisor strutted through the hallway and made his way into the break room. "Catherine, Warrick- 419 out at the Tangiers; Nicky, you're coming with me, we've got a 406 outside of Henderson," he handed them all their files. Warrick and Catherine left, heading for the locker room. "I'll meet you at the car, Gris," Nick said walking out. Sara was left in the room with her boss staring at her.

"You look nice today."

"Huh?" she looked up from her book, just then noticing his gaze. "Um…thanks," she replied turning back to her book. He walked over to her and sat down next to her, placing a hand over the book to get her attention.

"Where're you going today?" Grissom asked.

"Somewhere."

"You requested the day off; you never do that. Where're you going?"

"That is none of your concern."

"I suppose it isn't, but then again, I'm just curious."

"Worry about yourself, Grissom. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself." And with that, Sara Sidle verbally dismissed her boss and he left her alone in the break room with her book.

Sara sighed as she watched her boss leave the building. She folded another end in her book as she closed it and put it back in her bag. Today was a big day- it was going to be the first time she had seen her mother since the trial in 1984. She wondered what her mother was like now- was she like all the other jailbirds or was she different?

Sara remembered the happy memories she had- her laughing and playing with her mother and father as a small child and coming home with aced quizzes and tests and being praised. She smiled at the thought, but her smile suddenly changed to a saddened frown.

Yelling- yelling was heard all the time. She saw herself peeking out from the sides of her door in her room, clenching a small stuffed animal in her hands. Her mother was yelling and screaming at her father- Sara wondered what it was he had done to set her off this time. Sara turned away when her father started yelling. This had become a daily routine.

Sara would wake up and enjoy the peaceful minutes in the mornings while her father and mother wouldn't be fighting. They were actually quite pleasant towards each other- her mother would fix him breakfast and a cup of hot coffee and before he would leave he would kiss her and embrace her in a bear hug. Sara wondered why the evenings were different.

Sara would then go to school, where she would indulge herself in some literature in her spare time other than participate in extra-curricular activities. She freaked out a lot of kids- they didn't understand her ways of thinking. She always came to school with a healthy lunch- no junk food. Then, at their recess time, she would find a nice place in the shade—preferably under a large tree and sit and read. No wonder she was so pale-skinned- she hardly went out in the sun.

After hours of reading and writing, Sara Sidle then walked herself home, usually clenching a new book she had found at the library on her way home in her arms. She would stop at the doorway to her house- did she really want to go in, face the yelling and fighting between her parents? She always decided to go in. She still loved her parents, even if they seemed to hate each other some of the time.

Sara would then walk through the house, calling out a casual "I'm home" and then was greeted by her mother. Her mother was always wearing an apron and had something on her face- that day it was flour. Her mother hugged her tightly, getting flour on the sleeves of Sara's purple t-shirt. Sara then headed into her room and started on the rest of her homework.

6:30- that was when the trouble began. Her alarm would start beeping- she set it so she would always know when to be ready for the fighting. She could hear keys dangling around from inside her room, even with the door closed. She slowly made her way to the doorway of her room and cracked the door open. She heard the front door open and her father step through the walkway.

Sara didn't know how it happened, but it seemed that everyday her mother had something else to yell at her father for. This time it was bills.

"You didn't tell me you quit your job!" she exclaimed from the kitchen. Her father stopped where he was.

"Now, Laura, listen-"

"Save it," she said walking out of the kitchen. Sara gulped, getting ready for the big blowout.

"We have a child, Jim! A child! We're supposed to be taking care of her! You quit your job- how are we supposed to feed our baby if we have no money to put food on the table, huh?"

Her father was silent. Sara could see his hand and fingers balling into a fist.

"Now, Laura- you listen to me!" he started. "I quit that job with good reason!"

"What was that, Jim? I'm waiting!"

"I accepted another job somewhere else- it pays more and we get free insurance with it."

"Oh, and what- you're just now telling me this?" her mother angrily screamed. "You got fired, didn't you?"

"What if I did? You don't work- you don't know the challenges of going day after day, being suffocated in a tight space surrounded with people who despise you! All you do is clean and cook and bitch about our damn daughter! And you know what? You're turning her into you! Look at how stubborn she is- she won't ever amount to anything other than the piece of crap you've turned into! Crap! That's what this family is! I should've never married you or had a child!"

The door slammed. Both parents turned to see Sara standing in the hallway outside her door.

"Sara, I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"Is that what you think, dad? I'm just your damn kid?"

"Sara, honey—"

"I'm sorry I cause you so much trouble! Maybe you'd both be better off if I were dead, huh? I wish I was never born- then maybe you two would get along better!" she screamed.

"Sara, please—"

"Save it, dad!" she yelled and threw her door open and slammed it behind her. Inside her room she had fallen to the floor sobbing, her face hidden in her arms. She looked up to see her reflection in the mirror- her hazel eyes were now red and watery and her brown hair was sticking to her face where the tears had fallen. She stared at her reflection for a long moment- she hated herself. She detested her every being. All of the fighting was her fault. If she hadn't been alive maybe none of it would've happened.

She found herself buried in the blankets of her bed. She just cried- there was nothing else she could do. Her father had never said something like that to her- he had always been so cool and nonchalant around her. But on this day, her father was acting different. He was a completely different person than Sara Marie Sidle used to know. He wasn't a father anymore- he had turned into some monster. A monster she refused to love anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

At the current moment, Sara was trying to hold back tears. The memories came flooding back to her- the good and the bad.

Her father ran to her room and knocked on the door.

"Sara? Sara, sweetheart, please open the door."

"No!"

"Sara—"

"I said no, dad!"

"Sara, please listen to me. I didn't mean—"

"Then what did you mean, dad? Huh?"

"Sara, I just got mad, and I'm sorry." The door threw open revealing a red-eyed Sara with an angry expression on her face.

"So am I dad," she started. "I'm sorry you're such a big fat jerk! You've been lying to me all these years! All these years saying how much you've loved me- all lies! I can't believe you, dad!"

Her father lost it; he had never done this before to his daughter. Never. He raised his hand to her and slapped her across the face. Then, there was silence. Tears were welling up in the little girl's eyes. Her father was just as shocked as she was.

"Sara, I—"

The little girl backed up, now more frightened than ever.

"Sara, please, I didn't mean to hit you—"

She didn't let him finish and she slammed her door, locking it. She rubbed the skin on her face from where he had hit her- it still stung and the skin was turning red. The next thing she heard made her throw her door open again. She heard a drawer open and metal clinking around.

She looked to see what was happening- her mother was going through the many drawers in the kitchen until she pulled out what she was looking for. It was a huge knife- Sara had seen her father cut hams and turkeys with it before on special occasions.

"Laura, put the knife down…" she heard her father pleading and backing up.

"You stay the hell away from my daughter, you hear me?" her mother screamed. "Don't you lay a finger on her!"

The next thing Sara heard was a cry of pain and fear from her father, and the next thing she saw were his lifeless eyes staring at her. He had a large stab wound in his chest, and a pool of blood was slowly surrounding his body. Her mother dropped the knife to the floor, in shock.

"Mom…" Sara walked closer to her mother and the lifeless body of her father. She bent over her father's body. "Dad? Dad, come on…say something! Dad!" she knew deep down he was dead, but she refused to believe it.

"Sara…" her mother started.

"Dad! Come on! You can't be dead!"

"Sara, I'm sorry—"

"How could you?" Sara stormed standing up. "You're a murderer! You killed dad!"

"Sara…"

"He didn't mean it! I just over-reacted! You killed him! You're not my mother anymore; I don't even know you!"

Her mother walked over to her.

"Now see here, Sara—I was protecting you! I did this to protect you, you hear me?" she said putting her hands on the little girl's shoulders.

"Don't touch me!" Sara said hitting her hands away. She ran to her room and grabbed the phone dialing 9-1-1.

Sara was now asleep. The book she had been reading had fallen to the floor of the break room. She quickly opened her eyes, hearing clearly in her mind-

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

And then, her small and scared voice was on the other line.

"P-Please help me!"

Then, back to the operator.

"What's wrong? Are you alone?"

"N-No…my mom…she just killed my dad!"

She felt the tears well up in her eyes as the scene unfolded in front of her yet again. She looked down at her watch. It was time to go see her mother. She sighed as she picked the fallen book off of the floor and headed out of the lab.

She jumped into her Denali and drove to the penitentiary slowly. When she arrived, she got out, taking a deep breath. She walked up to the building.

Inside, she saw all of the other inmates- male and female. They were all staring at her with cold, lifeless eyes- they reminded her of her father's last glance at her. She turned away. A guard led her to the front desk.

"Who are you here to see?" asked a woman on the other side of the desk.

Sara took another deep breath before speaking.

"Laura Sidle; I'm her daughter, Sara."

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

A guard led Sara to a room where she took a seat on a cold, rather uncomfortable metal chair. She waited for her mother to come out and her stomach dropped when she saw a flash of orange come around the corner. The woman took a seat as her handcuffs were removed. The woman had a wide smile across her face.

"Hey Sara."

"Hi mom," Sara said bluntly.

"I've missed you so much, sweetheart," Laura Sidle said smiling, moving a hand toward her daughter.

"Yeah…uh, me too…" Sara said, at a loss for words. Her mother's hand over hers made her feel uneasy.

"So, how've you been? I've heard about you over the news."

"I'm uh…I'm doing good, mom."

"I'm glad to hear it," her mother said smiling. Sara sighed.

"Mom, I…I'm sorry, I can't ignore it anymore," Sara said shaking her head.

"Ignore what?" her mother asked.

"You know what. When you killed dad!"

"Sara—"

"Don't baby me, mom. I'm an adult now; I'm not a little kid anymore! When you killed dad, do you realize what you sold me into? I was alone- you were in jail, my only brother was in rehab, and my father was dead! My only surviving relatives were too drunk to take care of me so I had to go into foster care!"

"Sara…"

"Please, mom! I think you've done enough."

"Sara…" her mom sighed and straightened her neck. "You know why I did what I did."

"Yes, mom; I do. But you were the one who was always telling me to obey the law, and all that jazz. And here my mother goes and kills my father."

"Sara, I couldn't let him continue abusing us. You know as well as I do I killed him to protect you."

"Yeah, well mom, you know what? I can take care of myself. I could then and I can now." Sara stood up and began heading out the door. Her mother's voice made her stop.

"Sara!"

Sara turned around.

"I'm sorry."

Sara sighed as she looked at her mother.

"So am I, mom. So am I."

She walked out of the room and stared at her mother as she was escorted back to her cell. On her way out of the lab, the woman at the front desk stopped her.

"Miss, would you like to schedule another appointment?"

Sara stopped and turned to the woman. She just shook her head.

"No. No I don't."

She walked out of the jail and went to her car.

When she got inside her car, she rested her head in her arms. She wasn't going to cry- she had done enough of that for a few lifetimes. She looked up through the windshield. She decided the best thing to do would be to go back to her apartment and sort things out on her own.

For the next few days, Sara sat in silence sipping numerous cups of coffee as she tried to figure out the confusing rainbow of madness that was her life. She flipped through old photographs- one of which she kept looking at. It was her favorite photo out of them all.

In the picture, stood a smiling Jonathan 'Jimmy' Sidle with a smiling Sara in his arms. Beside them was her mother, sitting holding up a large birthday cake with four candles on it. The picture brought tears to her eyes.

As she reminisced, she was startled when there came a knock at her door.

She stood up and rubbed the tears from her eyes, sniffling. She looked through the peephole. She rolled her eyes as she opened the door.

"Hey."

The familiar voice filled the entire atmosphere. The blonde woman standing outside her door had a small smile on her face as she motioned inside.

"Can I come inside?"

Sara moved aside so her coworker could come into the building. She closed the door behind her and walked in front of her.

"So, Catherine…what brings you to my lair?" she asked sarcastically.

"I came to see if you were okay."

Sara sighed. "Grissom told you to come, didn't he?"

"No, of course not," Catherine said sitting down. "I came out of motherly instincts. I came tell when someone's having a tough time- I scare Lindsey that way all the time."

This made both Catherine and the brunette sitting across from her chuckle and Sara cleared her throat before speaking.

"Uh, thanks Catherine. But really, I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Well, okay, but you call me if you need anything, or just need someone to talk to, alright?"

Sara nodded as Catherine led herself to the front door and left. Sara sighed as she locked the door.

"Alright, Catherine, Nick- 419 down at the Four Aces hotel! Warrick, you've got a 406 with Greg and Sara—" Grissom started, but Nick cut him off.

"Sara's got the week off."

Grissom sighed. "That's right…okay, I'm going to have to call her in. We've got a tough shift tonight."

Sara heard her cell phone ring and she picked it up.

"Sidle. What? But Grissom, I—okay…okay, I'll be right there."

Sara sighed as she hung up the phone. She grabbed her keys and ran to her car.

"Sara, you and I've got a 419 down the Strip," Grissom said as soon as Sara walked through the door.

"Uh…okay."

"Let's go."

"Oh uh, right now?"

"Yes, when else?"

Sara sighed as she headed outside yet again with her boss.

"White female- worked a couple of blocks down at the bank. Coworkers say she was taking the bus to and from work today because her car was in the shop," Brass told Grissom as he walked him to the body with Sara trailing behind.

"And?" Grissom asked.

"Victim looks to have been raped, beaten, and then finally strangled."

Grissom and Sara arrived at the body with Brass.

"Hey David," Grissom said.

"Hey Gris," the young coroner returned the greeting. "Hey Sar—"

Sara was nowhere to be seen. Grissom looked around and saw Sara walking back to the car. She had dropped her kit where she had been standing. Grissom watched her go and then turned to Brass and David.

"Uh, keep the body here for a minute. I'll be back shortly," Grissom said and went the direction Sara had gone. As he reached the car, he saw Sara holding her head in her hands, leaning against the car.

"Sara?"

"Grissom, just go process the scene."

"No, Sara."

"Grissom, I'll be there in a minute, I just need a second."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Grissom."

"You haven't been acting the same since the last day you took off."

"I'm fine, Grissom."

Grissom walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She rolled her eyes, sensing defeat.

She didn't say anything yet. She just couldn't deal with a case like this right then- she had enough on her mind and cases like these always bugged her- she would deprive herself of food and sleep until she had them solved and she had already been doing that since the meeting with her mother.

"The other day, I um…I went to see my mother…"

"At the jail?"

"Yeah."

Grissom could see where the conversation was going.

"I see."

"I'm just going through a tough time right now."

He nodded. "Are you going to be okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'll be there in a minute."

Grissom nodded as he left her alone at the car and she wiped the tears away from her eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Sara was running away from someone. It was dark. She didn't necessarily know whom it was she was running from, but her gut told her they were up to no good. She kept running until finally, she tripped. She saw something to her right- it was a long sharp-bladed object. She had seen it before- it was the same knife that took the life of her father all those years ago.

Her hand gripped the handle of the knife. It was cold and covered in blood. Sara let go of the knife to only find that the blood was now all over the palm of her hand and she stared at it in horror. She shook her head as she turned back to the person who was following her. They were coming closer. She grabbed the knife without a second thought and lashed out at whatever it was in front of her.

The figure fell to the ground. It was someone she knew.

"Oh my god, Nick!" she knelt down by his side. "Oh no…Nick, please! Say something!"

It was no use. His once lively and happy expression on his face had changed to a cold and distant lifeless stare. She heard footsteps behind her and acted on instinct. She felt the knife in her hand dig into someone's flesh and they too fell over.

Greggo.

"God! Greggo, can you hear me? Greg, say something!"

It was too late.

Sara was tossing in turning in her bed as the rest of the dream went just like this. When she finally woke up, she felt beads of sweat dripping down her face and she felt nauseous. She ran to her bathroom, and after emptying her stomach, she washed her face with cold water.

The water was refreshing against her skin and she wiped the water away from her face before staring at her reflection in the mirror. She had remembered doing this when she was little. When she was little, at this moment she had hated herself. What did she think of herself now? She couldn't think anything of herself anymore- she just felt hollow. She had nothing.

She walked back into her room and sat on her bed. She sighed as she rubbed her right temple. She looked around the room- it was neat and tidy, everything was in order and where it was supposed to be. She laughed a little as a tear ran down her face.

She felt pathetic- worthless. She was a workaholic- probably since the day she was born. She had nothing more in her life than her work. Her brother was still in rehab; she feared he'd end up an OD victim before he reached the age of 40. Her mother was in jail, and she wanted nothing to do with her. Her father was dead, and even though he had hit her one time, she still loved him dearly.

Her aunt and uncle were now dead- they drunk themselves to death. After that, her cousins moved away- far away. Sara felt that they had made a good decision.

She looked at the clock on the corner of her nightstand. It was 3:30 am. Sara sighed. She really needed someone to talk to but she didn't want to call Catherine so early, especially because shift started soon. Sara decided she'd just try and go back to sleep and wait until shift had started to talk to anyone.

Sara ran into the lab, throwing away a large paper coffee cup on the way to the break room. She panted as she reached the room.

"I'm so sorry! I—"

Everyone turned to see her. They were all huddled in a circle. The color from Sara's face drained as she realized whom it was they were huddled around.

"Mom…"

Her mother turned to see her and smiled.

"Sara! I came to see where you worked and your coworkers! I got escorted here by an officer, and I can go have lunch with you!"

She gulped. Her mother seemed so happy to see her, but she wanted absolutely nothing to do with her mother. Her mother had killed her father. She could never forgive her for that.

"Mom, can I talk to you?" Sara asked.

"Sure, honey," she said walking out of the break room, leaving Grissom and the rest still huddled around.

Sara sighed. "Mom, listen—"

"I want to start over, Sara."

"W-What?"

"I want to start over. Give me a second chance, I'll make it up to you."

Sara rubbed her head, growing slightly nervous, but now she was also a bit angry.

"You can't make it up to me, mom. You killed dad. No one will ever replace dad, and nothing you do will ever make me want to forgive you."

"Sara, honey please. I've gotten help, I've seen a psychiatrist."

Sara just laughed. She remembered seeing a psychiatrist- what good did it do her?

"Mom, listen to me. I don't want you as a part of my life anymore. I am never going to forgive you for what you did. I loved dad, and now I'm alone in the world. All I have is my work, and even that's causing me trouble."

Her mother sighed.

"There's nothing I can do to make you forgive me, is there?"

Sara shook her head. Her mother hung her head and walked over to her.

"I love you, sweetheart," she whispered in her ear. Sara hesitated, but returned the hug.

Her mother released from the hug.

"Mom, please leave."

"Sara, I want you to tell me what else is bothering you."

"What do you mean?" Sara asked raising a brow.

"What else is bothering you? You obviously seem to have a bigger grudge against me than you let on."

Sara sighed, getting ready to speak.

"When dad had stopped coming home those nights after you guys fought…I was all alone. You were always mad. You may not remember, but mom, I do. And that…"

She sighed, looking for words.

"Made me realize something."

Her mother moved her eyebrows up in curiosity.

"That I never wanted to be like you. I realized this even more after you killed dad. I swore to myself I would never be like you. I was going to live my own life and refuse to let myself become a whole other you. And last night, I had a terrible dream, that I hurt my best friends," she said. "And I'm not going to become a murderer."

She held back the tears in her eyes as her mother stood in silence.

"So please, get out of my life…and don't come back." She turned to walk away.

SMACK!


	5. Chapter 5

of my other stories! You guys are awesome; you keep me writing! I think this is going to Author's Note- I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who had reviewed this and all be the last installment of this epic Sara-drama fiction, but I am working on a GSR story, soon to be published. Thanks again guys, and keep writing, all of you!

Silence. Everyone ran over to see what happened, but no one heard each other's footsteps. All they saw was a wide-eyed Sara, staring at her mother, the skin on her right cheek turning red. Her mother had a rather angry expression on her face.

Sara was emotionless. Her face had turned completely pale, except for the reddening skin on her face. Everyone could tell she was most likely shocked, but her face didn't really show it.

"How can you just shut me out like that?" her mother asked.

Sara stared at her, now in complete shock; her mother had never hit her before. Brass and the officers were running to the unfolding scene in front of them.

"Mom…"

"I protected you! How can you just shut me out? I apologized!" she said raising her hand once more. Grissom ran up and before the hand of Laura Sidle struck the delicate and pale-skinned face of her daughter for the second time, he stopped her.

"Ms. Sidle, I think it's best that you leave the lab," Grissom told her firmly. Sara just stared at him.

Her mother turned to Grissom.

"This is none of your concern."

"Yes it is," he said. "It's the whole lab's concern now, as a matter of fact. We all care about your daughter and we're not going to just watch a scene like this unfold without taking any action."

"How do you know my daughter?" she scoffed.

"We all know her, because we're her family."

These words made Sara freeze. Her heart skipped a beat; she swore it. She had never heard Grissom say this before. It made her happy.

Brass ran into the room with officers trailing behind him.

"The hell's going on in here?" Brass said looking at everyone. He saw the mother's hand suspended in thin-air and the bruise forming on Sara's face. He got the picture.

"Officer, get her out of here," Brass told an officer who grabbed Laura Sidle and dragged her out of the building. Everyone turned to Sara, concern plastered all over his or her faces.

"Sara, are you okay?" came Warrick's voice.

She just nodded.

Catherine looked at Nick, who looked at Greg, who just turned to Grissom. Catherine walked out from the huddled group and put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Sara."

Sara buried herself in a hug. Catherine just patted her back.

"It's okay. Your family is with you now."

It was true. The second Catherine said that, Greg was by Sara's side, a hand on her shoulder. Warrick and Nick took turns giving Sara hugs. Sara then turned to Grissom, tears running down her face.

She walked a little closer to him. He just watched her, his blue eyes staring straight into hers. His eyes widened as he noticed that she had wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.

"Thank you," she whispered in his ear and he smiled.

For once Gil Grissom had smiled- a genuine smile. These were rarely found on the entomologist's face, but when they were, it was always one person who put it on his face. And that person was Sara.

The End

Yes, the ending was short, but I couldn't think of anything else to write. I am going to have another story out soon, and I am hoping to make it longer- MUCH longer than my past stories. Thanks again to all my reviewers and keep on writing!

QTR


End file.
